Many software developers prefer figuring things out on their own, treating asking for help as a last resort. However, asking for help is often a much better option and can save time spent on solving problems that have already been solved.

Why are software developers not asking for help?

In my experience, one of the most common reason developers, especially those in junior roles, hesitate to ask for help is the fear of appearing incompetent. Consequently, they grind quietly through the problems hoping for a breakthrough. While breakthroughs do occur, sometimes the challenges turn out to be much harder than expected and solving them take a long time. This can result in delays and missing timelines, which, in the end will make them indeed look incompetent.

Another common reason developers avoid asking for help is that they don’t realize they could use some help. They are confident in their ability to figure things out (which is generally true) so why even ask for help? The answer is: time. Spending a lot of time solving an already solved problem may not be the most efficient use of their time.

When to ask for help?

It is important to learn when to ask for help. The idea is not to seek assistance every time an issue pops up or to avoid deep investigations. Instead, it is about recognizing situations where seeking help can save time spent on reinventing the wheel. Here are a few common scenarios:

• You’re stuck on something, and you're pretty sure it has been figured out before. You can get unblocked right away if you find the right person and ask. This could be sometimes a bit tricky, because the simpler the problem, the harder it is to admit to another person, especially a team member, that you are struggling with it.

• You’re investigating an urgent issue, such as an on-call problem, but with little success. Resolving the problem quickly is the top priority and if you’re not making much progress getting help is the right thing to do to minimize the impact.

• You have too much on your plate. If you find yourself overwhelmed with more work than you can handle, failing to seek help - whether it is assistance to renegotiate timelines or the scope of the work - may leave you feeling burnt out

How to ask for help?

The most important thing before reaching out for help is to invest time and effort in researching the problem. People generally don’t like to be bothered by questions that can be easily answered through a basic web search. If you don’t put any effort before seeking help, others will eventually notice, and will be less willing to assist you.

My most effective approach is to allocate a specific amount of time for researching the problem before seeking assistance. It ranges from 15 minutes for easy or urgent matters to several days for more complex problems. If I am not making significant progress within the allocated time, I ask for help.

Don’t expect someone to fully solve your problem. While it can happen, more often than not, you will be pointed in the right direction and will need to take from there.

Express gratitude to the person that helped you, especially if they invested a significant amount of time they could have used differently. Share with them the impact their help had or the benefits it unlocked. If your company has a tool for showing your appreciation, make sure to use it. If not, consider letting their manager know about the assistance you received.

If you are a senior engineer consider asking more junior engineers for help. Doing so can boost their morale and send a signal that asking for help is not a weakness. Additionally, it can contribute positively to their career development.

Last but not least, asking for help can mark the beginning of a great relationship.I've observed that when I seek assistance from someone, they tend to feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they need help, and I'm always willing to reciprocate as much as I can. This starts a cycle of mutual help and strengthening professional relationships.

💙 If you liked this article...

I publish a weekly newsletter for software engineers who want to grow their careers. I share mistakes I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned over the past 20 years as a software engineer.

Sign up here to get articles like this delivered to your inbox.

https://www.growingdev.net/