I have started to take on the tutorial on Udemy to understand the basics of web development and today I am finding that it is very easy. But, it was not like this always, around 8 months ago, when I wanted to learn how to code and be good at it.

I started to code along with my job. I wanted to switch my career from a support engineer to a developer. I was unable to keep up my motivation and left to code. The feeling to implement the concepts that I learned was terrifying. I thought giving interviews will help as I was caring about me earning money instead of giving value to the company. To get through interviews I focused on interview questions instead of learning to code. I failed many interviews. I did not give up, tried hard. Prepared for all the interview questions that I found on the internet. Somehow, I cracked an interview and got a job.

My motivation to code also disappeared with me getting a job, coz my motivation was to earn, but it was not the right way to approach mine wants to earn. I had to struggle a lot in my career due to this. Due to a lack of passion and fear to complete on deadlines I was not able to meet up with the expectations. This was impacting on my self-image. But the reason I was struggling was that I wanted to perform in a field where I have not understood the concepts beforehand and practiced applications of the concepts.

On further self-introspection, I found that I did not have a learning attitude due to which I am unable to sit for learning to code and implement what I learned. I was under the influence of developers on twitter who always said to code which was the only way to be good at it. I decided to dedicate some time to it every day. I failed abruptly when I implemented it, it felt like my mind used to get a freeze in 15 minutes of study. But, that was my target I used to sit there although I didn't like it. To study for 1 hour a day, even if it means to stare at the computer screen in the name of the study.

Slowly I started to study some days and take a gap of 4 to 5 days because I felt depressed. I was learning in my first project and due to poor performance, they didn't want me. I was thrown to another project.

Now I have had the experience of being in touch with code for 3 months and some coding experience. This project was a little chill and I found time for myself where I dedicated time for me to study. I took up this web developer course, I never completed my basics. I also implement what I study, it helps in cementing the concepts.

Its been about 8 months now. I have not become some expert in 8 months, but I have changed my attitude, I ask for help, I know how to prioritize things, coding doesn't look like a nightmare now and I have learned to discipline myself.

I can see I am growing at a very good speed. I hope to grow at a high-speed rate like a fire in the forest. I am working with all my heart and being connected to the developer community and twitter community that fills my heart with motivation.