“Do I deserve to be here?”

“I’m just not as good as these guys.”

“There are hundreds of other people that will be better than me, why bother to apply for that new job”

Just some of the thoughts that crossed my mind over the years.

Welcome to Imposter Syndrome

The feeling of not being as skilled or competent as others around you. The feeling that makes you believe you’re deceiving people with your abilities and are afraid of being found out.

As I write this post, I too am feeling rather like an imposter. Should I be writing a blog post? Will people be interested in what I have to say? There are hundreds of other bloggers out there right now, why would anyone be interested in what I have to say?

The truth is, Imposter Syndrome is an all too familiar reality for many people in industries that are brimming with high-achievers and ambitious individuals. It manifests itself in many ways, particularly when we embark on new ventures, skills and challenges. I believe in engineering, in particular, this feeling is all too common but many are afraid to talk about it.

The Eureka Moment

For many years, I considered myself a ‘victim’ of Imposter Syndrome. Sucking away the confidence and belief in myself and my ability to thrive in this industry. Over time, I’ve been able to manage these feelings but couldn’t help but feel like it was a cloud in my head that required constant energy and fighting.

That was, until recently. I experienced a “EUREKA” moment and now it all makes sense.

My perception of Imposter Syndrome was wrong from the start.
Inspired by a podcast by Steven Bartlett; The Key To Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, this post is my take on what I learned from this.

So let’s rewind a little.

Imposter Syndrome in Software Engineering

Having worked alongside many excellent engineers, you might be surprised to learn that some of the best believe that they are quite the opposite. Imposter Syndrome is all too common in the Software Engineering industry.

But why?

Our industry is evolving at a rate of knots. There is seemingly always more to learn and it’s not letting off the gas. When you think you’ve nailed a topic, you realise a newer or better alternative has been released and are left feeling like you need to start all over again. This feeling is perhaps amplified when you’re surrounded by other engineers at the top of their game.

Surprisingly, regardless of skill, engineers of all levels can be left feeling as though they’re just not up-to-scratch.
Incompetency

As engineers, we’re curious folk. We thrive on problem-solving and care about what we do. We’ll often find ourselves in situations where we might not know the solution immediately or need to learn a new topic to find it. These situations often fuel that feeling of inadequacy or disbelief.

When we’re learning something new, facing a new challenge or finding ourselves in an unfamiliar scenario, we’re taking another step outside of our comfort zone.

To try these new things requires being incompetent at first. Incompetency is a precursor to growth and learning.

Retraining our perception

After a prolonged period of feeling Imposter Syndrome, we tell ourselves that it’s a bad thing. That it hinders growth or at the very least, drains important energy that could otherwise be focussed elsewhere.

But I’m here to tell you this doesn’t have to be the case! It’s time to retrain our perception. Time to tell the story differently.

No matter who you are, I believe we all feel some level of discomfort, nerves or disbelief when we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. We may tell ourselves we’re not cut out for it or that we shouldn’t be in that place. We each tell ourselves the same story that Imposter Syndrome is something to be afraid of. The truth is, we are meant to feel this way.

When we get that nervous or tingling feeling, it’s not so much telling us that we’re in the wrong place but rather, we’re in the right one. Being ambitious and driven means we’ll constantly be outside of our comfort zone.

We are meant to experience these feelings. We are meant to feel like Imposters.

I’d go as far as agreeing with Steven. If we ever go through a prolonged period of not feeling like an imposter, perhaps we’re in the wrong place. Perhaps we need to start seeking new challenges and setting new goals. It’s these things that not only help us grow, but they provide a sense of fulfilment and progression. This is one of the many pieces to the puzzle of a happy and long-lived career as an engineer.

There was a time when I hoped one day I might believe in myself, that my Imposter Syndrome would fade away and become a distant memory.

The truth is, it will never go away and I’m just fine with that.