Bounce back is just as strong as my fallback game

digitalblkhippy

Valerie Phoenix ✊🏾

Posted on November 28, 2019

Bounce back is just as strong as my fallback game

I’m a senior software engineer with five years' worth of experience in the industry. Currently, my skill set include UX design, full-stack development, accessibility, with a newfound interest in security. I like to say that I’m a technologist that has a focus on creating safe user-centered digital experiences.

My fifth year in tech had to be the most rewarding and challenging year of my career.

I started out the year strong, full of confidence. I launched Tech By Choice, a nonprofit to help under index individuals know that tech is a space where they can enter, stay, and thrive. I started to level up at my company and received my first big bonus for the work that I accomplish. I soon left that safe, secure job for more growth at a new startup. This job switch came with a title change and a pay increases to match. I received the senior title I worked so hard to gain and was now in a position to transition into management.

Me. A black girl from a small home town that's easy to get stuck in. Me. The girl who wears her hair big by default. Me. I was on the path to becoming an engineering manager for a startup within her first few years of my career.

Everything seemed like it was working out. The job is going good; I was learning and pushing myself to be the best engineer I could be and an even better manager. But everything blew up after just two months. The VP of engineering was fired, and two weeks later, all but one engineer was also laid off. And I was left unemployed for the first time in my life. I held a steady job since I was 16, but this all changed in one 5 minute meeting.

I lost my senior title as soon as I received it. I have always struggled with imposter syndrome. I thought if I work hard enough, gained the right skills, and picked a diverse and supportive environment, things would be different. But being laid off destroyed all of that.

During my job hunt, I believed I was an imposter. Interview after interview of hearing I was not technical enough, I started to question if I should have stayed in school for psychology. That may be making that pivot while I was still in college wasn’t the right choice. Because losing my job meant that I wasn’t able to support my family. I am my mother‘s 401(k). Losing my job meant I couldn’t help even myself.

But I remembered my bounce back game is way stronger than my fallback. My skill set is one that not many people have, and being self-taught, I knew I could learn the skills I needed to power through these interviews. Because the skills you need to pass interviews are not the same ones, you need to do your day job.

So I set out to study algorithms. I built mini-projects to advance my understanding of React, graphQL, Apollo, and TypeScript. I even started networking. I did anything and everything I could to improve my skills to build my own confidence and take some control over the experience I was having.

I took a new position when it came to interviewing. I refuse to accept any job that didn’t meet my own personal requirements, imposter or not. Big-name companies didn't impress me. Not all money is good money. What I was looking for was a company I could grow within. A company where I was seen as equal with my coworkers, included in discussions, and heard when I voiced my opinion.

Within the last few months of the year, I found just that. I am a senior software engineer at Master Logistics. I work with a fantastic team that’s focused on taking pride in our work and how we treat each other.

My fifth year in tech highlights every single step that I’ve taken to get here. I am a technologist who is black, female, and self-taught, and for once, I don’t feel like an anomaly. I made it here because I carved out my own career path, and I'll keep learning what I need to thrive in this industry.

💖 💪 🙅 🚩
digitalblkhippy
Valerie Phoenix ✊🏾

Posted on November 28, 2019

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