Crack your knuckles, aspiring coders! This is your jargon-free, absurdly easy guide to basic JavaScript that's so friendly, even your grandma could ace it (We love you, grandma!).

1. Summoning the Spirit of Fibonacci: Making an Array from a Range of Numbers

Here, let’s conjure an array from a set range of numbers because, why not? You know, just like making cookies but without the calories.

let arrayFromRange = (min, max) => Array.from({length: max - min + 1}, (_, i) => min + i);

2. An Existential Dilemma: Odd or Even?

Next, a conundrum that has baffled philosophers for eons - is the number odd or even? Such profound questions, such riveting suspense.

let isEven = num => num % 2 === 0;

3. Word Surgery: Extracting a Bit of a Text String

Time for a little surgery. Scapel...er, I mean, substring, please! Let’s extract that stubborn bit of text.

let extractSubString = (str, start, end) => str.substring(start, end);

4. Identity Switch Operation: Replacing a Text String

Next, we perform the mystical art of identity change. Who knew text strings could be so flexible?

let replaceString = (str, oldStr, newStr) => str.replace(oldStr, newStr);

5. The Beginning and End of the World: Checking if a Text String Starts or Ends with Certain Words

Does it start? Does it end? Just like reading an intriguing novel, but with less drama and more determinism.

let startsOrEndsWith = (str, checkStr) => str.startsWith(checkStr) || str.endsWith(checkStr);

6. A Deep Clean: Removing All Empty Spaces from a Text String

Now let’s make that messy string squeaky clean. Sorry, spaces, you’ve overstayed your welcome!

let removeSpaces = str => str.replace(/\s+/g, '');

7. Superhero Strength: Getting the Power of a Number

Get ready to flex your mathematical muscles. Time to find the power of a number.

let powerOfNumber = (num, power) => Math.pow(num, power);

8. Crystal Ball: Checking if an Object has a Specific Property

Here we peer into the murky depths of an object, divining its properties. It’s less spooky than it sounds, promise!

let hasProperty = (obj, prop) => obj.hasOwnProperty(prop);

9. A Mysterious Double: Creating a Copy of an Object

Don't want to mess with the original? Make a doppelgänger. It's like having a twin, but with less sibling rivalry.

let copyObject = obj => Object.assign({}, obj);

10. Magical Vanishing Act: Removing a Property from an Object

Now, for the pièce de résistance, we're going to make a property disappear! Just like magic, but less flashy.

let removeProperty = (obj, prop) => { delete obj[prop]; return obj; };

11. A World Without Clones: Removing Duplicate Items from an Array

Duplicates are so passé. Let’s spring clean that array!

let removeDuplicates = array => [...new Set(array)];

12. Two-Headed Monster: Merging Two Arrays or Objects

Lastly, the beast of all beasts - merging arrays or objects. Don't worry, no actual monsters were harmed.

let mergeItems = (item1, item2) => Array.isArray(item1) ? [...item1, ...item2] : { ...item1, ...item2 };

And voilà! You’ve now dipped your toes into the enchanting world of JavaScript. Remember, practice makes perfect and if your grandma can do it, so can you. Get coding!