To the tune of Grow For Me from Little Shop of Horrors:

I will give you dope rhymes
I will give you plays
I’ll ask you for something:
To fund my main stage!
I'm beggin' you sweetly.
I'm down on my knees.
Oh, please sponsor meeeee!

I will give you brain food,
Some lessons to learn.
I’ll teach you what you need
To increase what you earn!
I’d like some live captions
Some coffee and tea,
So please sponsor me!

I want to have free childcare onsite
For parents to share.
And an afterparty
That goes all night,
All are welcome there!
I want to record all the sessions
From open to end.
Plus mentoring, quiet rooms,
Pronoun pins, catering
For everyone who attends!

I’ve got a great venue
The team’s picked a day
But nothing will happen
Unless they can paaaaaaay!
I’ll grab you a table.
A sign will decree
That your company’s... sponsored me!

I had a lot of fun writing this. If you or your company is interested in supporting <title of conf>, please check out titleofconf.org/sponsor or get in touch with me directly!